What is your language of preference? Love, please!
The past weekend was a toughy for me. A door that I had really hoped would open career wise didn’t and I felt disappointed, rejected, lonely and somewhat sorry for myself (Just being honest here – if people actually attended Pity Parties, I would have had one in grand style!)
I suspect that the strain of this year with all of it’s challenges and obstacles being navigated together with all the growth and maturing occuring (which is great but sometimes so difficult and painful) all just culminated into one big mush, which left me feeling less than the awesome and incredible‘designer original’ that I spoke about in my previous post!!! Getting sick again for the umpteenth time this year also didn’t help! It’s become a bit of a joke how often my immune system takes an unscheduled holiday! (Note to self, maybe it is me that needs a holiday? Mmmmh, the Greek Isles beckon!)
So when one is in this place of being ‘emotionally challenged’ there is nothing nicer then when someone comes along and speaks straight into your heart, in just the language it understands. I dont know about you. but my heart understands and needs love. It doesn’t accept anything less!
This reminded me of an amazing book called, The 5 Love languages, by Gary Chapman. WOW. It doesn’t get more spot on then this book. (Please do read this book if you haven’t already done so). In it, he describes how everyone is different (yes, I know you may be thinking duh, but read on). We all show and express love in different ways. And similarly we all also receive love in different ways. We each have our preferences!
The 5 love languages are – Acts of Service, Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Physical Touch.
You may be wondering what my preference of ‘Love Language’ is so I will tell you… My ‘language’ of preference when receiving love is Physical Touch (this doesn’t however give you permission to pinch me on the rear Italian style, without my consent of course) followed by Acts of Service as a close second and you won’t go wrong either if you throw some Words of Affirmation into the mix! A girl likes to hear some positive and encouraging things!
Just like I am able to speak English well, I speak an average Afrikaans and a smattering of French my first choice when communicating is English! Similarly we all have a preference when it comes to ‘Love Languages’.
My love language when giving and showing love is usually expressed by giving Gifts and by sharing Quality Time (with a bit of words of affirmation thrown in there too). I delight in surprising someone with a little something that I have specially selected that is all beautifully wrapped! I also give of myself generously by spending quality time with people.
As mentioned earlier, this past weekend was a trying time for me, with what seemed like EVERYTHING going wrong and nothing working out the way I thought and hoped that it would. Cue, amazing friends, speaking my love languages…
I was totally bowled over by how, when I was down, God sent some really amazing people on my path to use as vessels of Love. If it wasn’t a friend surprisingly popping a gift into my post box. (it was such fun skipping along to find out what had been left in the box for me – even if it had been a rock, the joy of the surprise thought was just what my heart needed – yay much! Just in case you were wondering, it wasn’t a pet rock but a wonderful pamper treat) to two friends popping over one evening armed with plenty of chic flicks, popcorn and filter coffee, followed by yet another friend poppng around for tea with a tray ladened with yummy home baked cake pops! Wow!
I’m not sure how, but even the barista at my favourite coffee shop clearly picked up I needed some loving. After giving me the biggest hug, (and just about knocking over everything on the counter in the process whilst being watched by ALL the patrons) he proceeded to declare his undying love to me, via a cappuccino:) how special is that?
These things just meant so much to my heart, and helped me feel less alone.
So I encourage you to take the effort and find out what ‘languages’ those around you speak, and speak it to them. The more loved one feels, the more love one can give. The more love one is shown, the more healing can take place! I am testimony to it.
I am thinking of writing to Gary Chapman and suggesting he add another love language. I cannot believe he could have missed it. The Love anguage of Coffee and Cupcakes. I mean come one?!
Lots of love (in all of its language forms)