3 years on and my soul sings
What exactly is my soul singing about this week? A lot of things! It’s marvelling at the beauty of life, it’s moved by its frailty and it’s excited for the future!
It has been a week of ushering in and saying goodbye. A very dear lady, who held the place of a grandmother (Nana) in my life fell ill and passed away. She was one fiery Scotswoman who taught me how to bake the yummiest shortbread, rich fruit cake and make rainbow sandwiches. We drank copious cups of tea together and chatted about all sorts of things. She was an absolute character of note! When I was informed that she didn’t have long to live, I just felt I needed to go and visit her. Not sure what to expect when I got to the hospital, I arrived armed with flowers and the pinkest, brightest vovo telo cupcake I could find. Unfortunately, she was too ill to enjoy the cupcake, but her expression when I walked in, made it all worthwhile. I am so happy that I went to see her and say goodbye as she passed on two days later.
Having experienced a hospital visit that wasn’t one of joy I was excited but somewhat apprehensive when on the very next day my sister went into hospital to give birth to her first-born son. My precious nephew was welcomed into the world at 6:08 am… He is an absolute beauty! I couldn’t be more excited to be an aunt. (I don’t like being called aunty though, so I may go for the Greek Thia or Italian Zia or the Spanish la Tía). Aunty, just doesn’t do it for me! (Guess I am joining the expressive grandparents, Zuus and YiaYia! haha).
It is so incredible to see a life develop before your own eyes. Seeing life end and start was a reminder of what a privilege life is! On the topic of life, I have a very special ‘Life” anniversary coming up. I call it an anniversary as I decided that along with my birthday and other special occasions, my ‘life day’ will be known and celebrated with all my nearest and dearest. My life day is October the 2nd, which was the day I was attacked and faced with the darkest of darkness…. but miraculously survived and am alive.. alive to fulfil a definite plan and purpose – my destiny!
Tuesday, 2nd October will be the 3rd anniversary! Wow. So little time and yet so long! I thought I’d take this time to reflect and process where I have come from and where I am now.
So, where am I now? In a very, very good place! This heart of mine, has been through it all but by the grace of God and His tender care has not given up! I refuse to! I have gone through all the stages of grieving. The first year I went overboard in trying to prove to myself and others that I was ‘okay’ and just tried to have as much ‘normality’ as possible. The second year was very different. I was healing but pouring out way too much into others healing and lives but at my own expense. The third year? I have done things I thought I would NEVER be able to do! I am so thankful and proud of where I am now! I have been transparent with my vulnerabilities and struggles this year, allowed myself to rest and allowed my heart to fill up. I have learnt to put boundaries in place. I have not been a people pleaser but a Cayly healer! I have been kind to my own heart! I have loved myself well (I know this may sound a bit crazy but it has been so necessary and so important for healing). I have had so much fun and so much growth! Of course, healing is a journey, but I have been through the deep depths of the valley and looking up, I am heading towards and close approaching the mountain tops now! I am an overcomer! I love life! Whoooooooohooooooooooooooo Whooooohoooooooooooooooooo, can you hear my loud victory echoes? Whooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooo
My family and friends and Heavenly father who placed those family and friends around me have been a real key to unlocking my door of healing. People still constantly surprise and astound me with their love and kindness! I am so blessed.
The next three years? Well, more journeying to an even deeper level of healing, loving fearlessly, being loved fearlessly, getting married, travelling, public speaking and hopefully ministry to those who need to hear my story to help them through theirs.
For now, I am looking forward to having the court case behind me. It is due to happen late October/early November of this year) Its going to be an incredibly tough thing to face, but I’m confident that God will be my strength and put the right people at my side to walk with me through it.
I’m not diminishing the pain I have endured, but I’m not allowing it to have a hold on me!
So raise your coffee cup, wine glass, water bottle or tea cup, and lets chink to life! Or say ‘Sante’ as my family who live in France say!