Why You Should Have A Heart Of Gold
Welcome to One Authentic Life!
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings.
What is this blog about? Well, exactly what Mr E.E Cummings says. The art of pursuing authentic living. At aged 25 I have started to discover that perfection is second place. Authenticity is first prize. I hope to show you that REAL is possible. It is not always ‘pretty’ but it is possible.
I have never fitted into the ‘normal’ box. I laugh very loudly, have size 3 feet and where most of my friends went to the same high school together, I chose to go to another. While the grade 9 girls were bedazzling for the nights out, I spent nights lying in a hospital bed with a life threatening illness. After high school, virtually all of my peers studied degrees in teaching and commerce at University … and me? It was Theatre School for me, daaahling!
Now in my late twenties many friends are marrying and having babies… Me? One day yes… but for now I’m loving travelling, making documentary films and embracing my single-hood. I’ve often had to remind myself that being authentic and unique does not make me less than them nor make the journey an easy one. It just makes me, me. Life is too short to live it subscribing to someone else’s ideas for your life. I realise that this is much easier said than done though… I am human after all, and I do sometimes catch myself saying, “ Wow, I would love to have her career or his car” etc.
The danger with this ‘game of comparison’ is that we will always come off second best. Its very easy to see yourself as not good enough, pretty enough, enough enough… When we compare our journey to someone else’s we can end up feeling inadequate. We see our faults, wounds and cracks, and can end up in a dark and downward spiral towards doubt, disbelief and distrust in our own purpose. Instead of embracing our quirks and cracks we turn on them and inadvertently turn on our selves. We start to hate ourselves and change the very essence and nature of our loveliness to somehow live up to society’s expectations or to keep up with the Jones’s. We may even wish we were born with different skills, tastes, in a different time, to a different family of never at all. This prevents us from seeing and valuing our own unique skills, abilities and impact
There is an ancient Japanese art technique, Kintsugi that takes imperfect broken items and glues them together and dusts them with gold. Does this technique not emphasis the cracked imperfections? Yes. But in so doing the item becomes more valuable and more beautiful for having been broken. Frumi Rachel Barr says, “Becoming authentic involves acknowledging pain and loss, but it also includes recovering valuable pieces of ourselves and dealing with beliefs and feelings that cause us harm. Each of us is like a crazy quilt of talent, values and dreams, sewn together into a unified whole, and each quilt is different, fascinating and precious.”
We all go through pain or difficult experiences in life. We don’t always have control over this. We can choose to let these moments make us bitter or to make us into an authentic Kinsuki art piece of even greater beauty and value. By allowing this to happen in and through us- we are technically filled with gold. Having a heart of gold takes on a whole new meaning.
Those closest to me know only to well that I am not perfect. I can be impatient and I feel the emotions of the world too easily… I’ve been broken by painful events…. Rape, a broken heart, weight challenges and poor health…. But I have victory in my history. I don’t want to be perfect, I want to be authentic… Authentically me! The me that God created me to be. I want to be and do everything that He created me for.
My hope for you reading my blog is that you are given an authentic seed of hope to face whatever it is that lies before you. That this seeds grows into a beautiful oak tree, standing tall and firm, sprouting acorns as it grows. That you realise you do not have to be perfect you just need to be YOU. You are perfectly wonderful just as you are. Whether that means actually going for that singing audition, signing up for that volunteer soup kitchen, wearing your hair in its natural curls, not quietening your laugh to make someone happy, embracing your skin tone or freckles, flying to Iceland alone or baking a really huge and expensive chocolate cake just for yourself. By embracing our quirks and accepting them as part of our unique genetic make up, become authentic.
I will be sharing my stories, my travels, my projects, my adventures, my challenges, highs and lows with you. I do not want you to look at my blog and go “Ahhh I wish I had her life!” I want you to be inspired by my pursuit of authenticity and then embrace your own authentic self i.e. the unique things that make you you. My authentic way of living might be and look vastly different to yours, and that’s perfectly okay. You are likely to have different passions and dreams to what I do. I have a list of documentaries I long to produce and direct, and an even longer list of countries I long to visit, and you may strive to become the CEO of a thriving corporate enterprise. Neither is right or wrong, just different.
I do so look forward to hearing YOUR story of authentic living and seeing your Kinsugi art piece and life quilt unfold. Lets tackle this journey together.